Click. Clack. Click. Clack. Click. Clack.
The sound of silver satyrshoes striking cobblestone kept a fast pace as I set out to explore the elite side of Manhattan nightlife.
"HURRY UP!!! We must be at Alexio's before 11, or we can fucking forget about getting into Club Wyld. It'll be fast. Kiss, kiss, a little drinky and on our way."
"To Club Wyld?"
Kristakos the social satyr scoffed, "Noooo! Oh my goodness! Do you even go out at all? Wow! Club Wyld is an after hours club. And we must visit Charles' gallery after Alexio's. Do you know Charles? About this high. A bit of a party boy, but sooooo talented - if you consider photography art."
I briefly wondered if "after hours" meant an experience outside of regular time. Perhaps a chance to exist as past, present, future all in the same moment. There'd be the early twenties version of myself, all Italian disco wear and gypsy curses. Maybe I'd have a chance to chat with the ghastly doppelganger who lured me to this world? I asked Kris if "after hours" meant between normal time or simply meant--
But I was interrupted... again...
"Are you CRAZY!? Have you ever been out to a club?! It just means the place stays open late. Wow. Where are you from again? Wow! Do they have bars in your dismal world? Wait til Alexio hears this one. Wizards and their crazy notions. How much of that shit did you smoke anyways?"
"Not much," I lied.
We finally ended our brisk, Green Witch Village walk at a pair of towering red doors, framed in gold. An equally tall, dark skinned doorman in a black suit intercepted Kristakos as he headed for Alexio's bar.
"I'm sorry Mr. Kristakos. But you're not on the V.I.P.--"
"What!? What the FUCK are you talking about? I'm on the V.I.P. list. I'm a VERY V.I.P.! Get the FUCK out of my way or I will FUCKING have your job! DO YOU HEAR ME YOU LOW PIECE OF SHIT. Wait until Alexio hears this! This is OUTRAGEOUS!!! Where is Alexio?"
"I'm sorry Mr. Kristakos. But this comes down from Mr. Alexio himself. You are not allowed on these premises." The giant of a man maintained a calm demeanor as the satyr raged at his kneecaps.
"FUCK YOU, ALEXIO!" Kristakos shrieked into the night. A trio of young men whispered and giggled as they easily passed the doorman, "And fuck you too, stupid Jersey tunnel-trash!"
Kristakos spun on his hoof and grabbed my arm, "Let's get the fuck out of here. This place is nothing but low rent hookers and shitty music!"
CLICK! CLACK! CLICK! CLACK! CLICK! CLACK!
It was a similar scene everywhere else we went. Security refused to let Kristakos inside their property. We ended up at a decidedly 'before hours' diner, where between furious bites of souvlaki, I heard of the bitter demise of Manhattan's party scene, how Kristakos was (by his accounts) the number one party promoter in Manhattan, how everyone unfairly turned their backs on him and how no one knows how to throw a good party these days.
The satyr stole a curly fry from my plate, "Well except one person. That person being Sam Hain, of course... Yep. I'm certain I'm tight in Sam Hain's book. So long as those bitches haven't filled his ear with their lies. Yeah... Sam Hain..."
He chewed and waited. Of course he wanted me to ask who Sam Hain was. I didn't want to...
But I dully acquiesced, "Who is Sam Hain..."
Kristakos' eyes rolled, "You don't know who Sam Hain is? He's the number one dude around these parts. He's the guy who can get you anything you want! Wow. Just WOW. You are so like... Wow. Doesn't know Sam Haim? Wow. Sam Hain is the Master of Halloween!"
I was beginning to understand how this belligerent half man, half goat had become a blight on Manhattan nightlife. But with the mention of Sam Hain, his mood had certainly brightened.
"That's it, man! That's it. Why didn't I think of it sooner! You gotta meet Sam Hain. I probably can't get to him, but you can. You totally can," Kristakos was absolutely beaming now.
"OK. What bar is he at? Are we going tonight?"
"Oh wow! He's not at a bar! Sam Hain doesn't go to bars. He's waaaay above bars," the satyr chuckled to himself while he sucked strawberry milkshake through a straw.
This was getting exhausting. But maybe someone as connected as this Sam Hain guy could answer my questions about how I ended up here. I took a deep breath, "Soooo... where can I find him then? How do I get to meet him?"
Kristakos said plainly without a hint of jest, "Easy. You need to crash Sam Hain's wedding on Halloween's Eve."
